Getting Your Ex Back When He's Dating Someone Else
Watching the man you love spending his time with another woman can be one of the most painful experiences you go through. At times it's easier to resign yourself to being without him, rather than have to see him with someone else. But other times, you can't help but spend every spare moment wondering where they are and what they're doing.
If you love your ex and truly want him back in your life, there are steps you can take to win him back. For the most part you'll follow the same eight-step guide (at left), but there will be some additional requirements due to his new girlfriend. Understand that you may need to swallow some very big feelings for him - at least temporarily - in order to execute your plan to get back with him. But if you do it right, and if he still has love for you, there are definite ways to emerge the victor.
Making Sure He Knows That You've Accepted The Breakup
When your ex is dating another girl, he's going to guard as much information about his new relationship from you as possible. He'll do this either to protect your feelings (which is sweet), or because he wants to still leave the door open to a possible reunion (which is good) in case things don't work out with her. The only way to get him to open up about his new relationship is to befriend him. This is going to be difficult for you, because it'll require you hearing about his new girlfriend. But at the same time, you'll be putting yourself into position to strike, so to speak, when the time is right.
Establishing Neutral Trust
One thing you've got going for you is that you and your ex have a past history together. You should know him better than most other people in his life. Because of this, he may come to you to talk about things he couldn't normally talk about with others. When this happens (sometime around Step 4), you'll need to be there for him.
The first time he talks to you about his new girlfriend, you need to be as supportive as you possibly can. But if you do this through gritted teeth, he'll sense and know it. Be genuine, and be his friend. After all you do care about him, and you do wish him happiness (only with you, not her!)
If you give your man a neutral forum, it will allow him to open up. Eventually your ex boyfriend will begin to confide in you the things he doesn't like so much about the new woman in his life. This isn't time to agree with him, just nod and listen. When a man complains about a girlfriend he often wants a sounding board - nothing more. If someone agrees with him too strongly, he'll be quick to suddenly jump to her defense. Don't suggest or point out anything bad about his girlfriend, because he'll feel you're attacking her. Be a friend he can trust, and that's about it (for now).
As difficult as it may be hearing about your ex boyfriend's new lovelife, you're going to need to grin and bear it for a while if you want him back. No matter how badly you feel right now, it helps to keep reminding yourself that your situation is temporary. Try not to think about her. Instead, visualize the end scenario, which is the two of you getting back together. Just as with anything else, you can't accomplish it unless you truly believe and see it happening.
Getting Yourself In Shape For Success
In the meantime, keep yourself busy by making yourself better. Hit the gym, and take your frustrations out in the weight room. Take up running, which will get you slim and tan at the same time. Swim or bike if you live someplace warm. Enroll in a spin or aerobics class if there's one nearby. Buy a few new outfits, and get yourself looking (and feeling) better and sexier than ever before.
It's a simple fact: every single guy on the face of the planet wants his ex to look worse now than she did when she was dating him. To see her looking hotter than ever is a HUGE motivator in wanting her back.
Guys who hadn't even been thinking about an ex girlfriend can be suddenly swayed by positive changes in appearance. Men are extremely visual creatures, and you should take full advantage of this. In the meantime, you're clearing your head and taking your mind off the present situation.
Making Yourself Available. . . For a While
If you play your cards right, eventually you'll become the 'go-to' person whenever your ex needs to bounce an idea off someone. You'll be that safe, familiar, and now increasingly-hotter face of reason. Whenever he has conflict with his new girlfriend, you'll hear about it. He'll become comfortable around you again, in new and different ways.
The fact that this is happening is great, but don't always be there for him. Now's the time to shake things up a little, and you can begin by not answering every single one of his calls. If you're busy, tell him so. You don't have to elaborate. Your ex boyfriend will begin seeing that you have a life of your own, and rightly so. Pretty soon he'll start wondering about that life, and what it means to him.
You'll know this is working when he's less concerned with his own problems and begins questioning you about your own situation. Be vague with him - the less details the better. Don't make anything up, but don't hide anything either. Your ex will get the impression that you're moving on without him, and it will start to scare him that you might not always be around.
Continue on to part 2 of : Getting Back Your Ex When He's Dating Someone Else