Getting Your Ex Back When He's Dating Someone Else
This is a continuation on how to win back your boyfriend when he's already dating another woman. For part one of this guide to winning him back, click here.
Passively Breeding Resentment Within His Relationship
Once your ex boyfriend becomes curious about the life you're leading without him, you're one huge step closer to getting him back. Suddenly he's going to start reflecting back upon the relationship you had together, and before long he'll wonder if the grass really isn't greener on the other side of the fence. He's also going to feel some pressure that you might move on without him. Even though he's in another relationship, he doesn't want this. Guys love it when doors are left open, giving them a chance to change their minds.
Right around this point, his girlfriend is going to become very aware of you. As you invade his thoughts, you're going to unknowingly and increasingly become a topic of conversation in his life. This will make her angry and defensive, and she's going to try and pull him away from anything to do with you. This in turn is going to annoy him - which is exactly what you want.
When you see this happening, it's time to start the friendly phone calls. Your reasons for calling should be as simple as possible: keep your conversations innocent, light, and casual. Tell him you ran into a mutual friend, or ask him his opinion about something going on in your life. Make sure you call him at times that may conflict with him being around his girlfriend. If you know he's going to be somewhere, you can arrange to bump into him - but only do this once or twice and don't make a habit of it. While all these tactics may seem sneaky, remember that your goal here is to get your ex back with you - not to make friends.
Arranging a Solo Meeting With Your Ex Boyfriend
By now, you should've firmly implanted yourself inside your ex boyfriend's head. While he's still dating a new girl, he's thinking a lot about you. He might tell himself (and his girlfriend) that you're nothing more than a good friend, and that the two of you keep in touch because you were friends before you dated. He doesn't believe that of course, because no matter how friendly you are with him, deep inside he'll be wondering what it would be like to be with you again.
By now his girlfriend might've actually forbidden contact with you (and could you blame her?) - but this is okay. Your ex will resent her trying to control him, and he'll reason with himself that she's keeping him from what's nothing more than a 'good friendship'. This has probably already led to more than a few fights, too. No guy wants to be controlled, and your ex boyfriend is no different. Left alone for a few days he'll eventually contact you, either through email, text message, or phone call - just to see if you're still there for him.
Here's where you need to set up a solo meeting or date with your ex boyfriend. Hopefully he'll ask to meet you somewhere, but if he doesn't, then you should ask him. Pick a very innocent and neutral spot, like a Starbucks or a coffee shop. It shouldn't feel like a date at all, more of a friendly meeting to make small talk.
If he still seems reluctant, make up an excuse to see him. Find something you need to show him or ask him about, and tell him you're bringing it with you. The both of you will know it's only a prop used so you can get together, but neither of you will care.
Using Your Past To Your Advantage
Once you have him all alone, it's time to use the past history you had together to your advantage. Over time, people tend to remember the good times they've had with someone while letting the bad ones fade into obscurity. This means that no matter how many fights you might've had, your ex boyfriend has far more memories of fun things you did together than he does of times that were not so great.
As you talk, make excuses to casually bring up some of these great times. Pick the first place you had dinner together, and tell him you went somewhere recently. Choose another spot you had a special moment, and let him know you passed it and thought of him. Don't get too serious here, you still want to keep things casual. But light flirting and hint-dropping is well within normal boundries. You're trying to win your boyfriend back, and you're in the home stretch.
Laugh, talk, and above all make sure you both have fun. Let him talk all about whatever topic he wants, which will probably be his current girlfriend. Listen to what he says, and nod at the appropriate moments. You can agree with him on certain things now, but be very careful not to judge. By the end of your meeting, let him know you had a great time with him and tell him you should do it again soon. Chances are he'll say that anyway, but be sure he knows you're interested. By your first meeting not evolving into a serious or awkward 'date', you've shown him he can see you casually outside of his current relationship. Each time you see him beyond that, the level of comfort and intimacy will begin to increase.
Continue on to part 3 of : Getting Your Ex Back When He's Dating Someone Else