What Does It Mean If Your Ex Wants To Be Friends?
As if breaking up isn't strange enough, some guys want to be friends after the break up. So what exactly does that mean? What should you expect if you stay friends with your boyfriend after your relationship has ended? Below you'll get an insight into what a guy is thinking when he suggests being friends with you, and how to handle it if you still want him back.
Staying Friends After Breaking Up
When a guy breaks up with you, there's usually a storm of emotions. The thing that's the most frightening, for both people, is the thought of never seeing the other person again. Dating can bring you very close together - the average couple usually sees and talks to each other on a daily basis. When a relationship ends, losing that person as a boyfriend is only part of the equation - losing them from your life completely is a real possibility.
Because of this, your ex might've delivered those three magic words: let's be friends. On the surface this might seem a great alternative, and maybe you jumped at the chance. Still getting to see an exboyfriend is one way women stay in denial about the break up. They figure that as long as they're still communicating with their ex, there's still a chance to keep the break up from becoming permanent. The longer they can hang around, the better the chances for getting back together again. For this reason, a girl will try to stay friends with an ex boyfriend, even after he dumps her.
The Reality of Establishing a Friendship With Your Ex
Sure, being friendly with an ex sounds great in theory. But in reality? Such a friendship begins with several strikes against it from the very beginning. And although you can be successful at remaining friends with your ex for quite some time, eventually you're going to end up getting hurt. Especially when one or both of you begin dating someone new.
Imagine talking to, emailing, and hanging out with the guy you once dated (and still want to go back out with). You stay close to him in the hopes that he'll one day take you back, but in the meantime you're enjoying just being around him again. Now imagine him meeting and dating another girl. How awful will this make you feel, knowing he chose her and not you? As he begins spending less and less time with you, and more time with her, you're going to resent the whole idea of such a friendship. And not only that, but his new girlfriend is going to keep this guy as far away from you as possible, knowing that the two of you once dated.
And if that's not enough of a reason, try to picture the reverse scenario. While staying friendly with your exboyfriend, you start dating this great new guy. Do you still hang out with your ex? Do you e-mail him? Text-message him? Or do you let the friendship fall to the wayside in lieu of your new relationship? And hey, if you do continue the friendship... do you tell your new man that you're hanging out with someone you once dated? Someone you were intimate with on the closest of levels? Odds are good he's not going to be too happy about that. So you'll lie. You'll lie to your new boyfriend while trying to ditch the friendship you established with your exboyfriend. Not so cool.
Staying Friends With Your Ex So You Can Get Back Together With Him
In one of the most common scenarios that happen after a break up, you might choose to accept a friendship with your exboyfriend in hopes of getting him back. You figure that the more you're around him, the better opportunities you'll have to convince him to get back together. In this situation, you're willing to accept a lesser relationship - companionship without commitment - in order to stay within clear view of your ex boyfriend.
Yet in actuality, being friends with an exboyfriend after you break up is one of the worst ways you can get him interested in you again. It's totally counterproductive to getting back together with him for several reasons. Some of the biggest examples of why you shouldn't be friends with an exboyfriend you're still in love with can be found here.
Understand something. When a guy breaks up with you, it's because he's looking for something that's not there. He might like certain aspects of your relationship, but others can be lacking. But by giving him friendship, companionship, and someone to talk to... you're effectively giving him all the benefits of going out with you, but without the drawback of having to be monogamous.
This is like giving your boyfriend license to date other girls right in front of your eyes! And since you're now his friend, you have to remain positive and cool about it. In fact, you might even have to act happy. He's your friend and you want the best for him, right? Sure you do.
Staying friends with your ex after he dumps you is like getting demoted. It's like he's telling you you're good enough to hang out with, but not good enough to date. Don't ever settle for this type of arrangement, as you're only going to get taken advantage of. If you're looking to get back your ex boyfriend, you can't substitute friendship for the long-term relationship you really want to re-establish with him. Anything less is a grave injustice to you. You'll end up sitting on the bench every time.
Getting Your Boyfriend Back - Turning Your Friendship Back Into a Relationship
If making your ex want you back is your goal, you'll need to avoid falling into a buddy-buddy relationship with him. To accomplish this, you have to make him realize he can't settle for half of you. Either he dates you, or he doesn't... you're not going to sit around fulfilling some of his needs while he fulfills none of yours. To do this, you'll need to go away for a little while.
Whether you started being friends with your exboyfriend already or you just broke up, the best thing you can do to get him back is completely ignore his attempts to contact you. Disappear for a while, and let your ex wonder where you went. His plan for friendship will fall flat, and when you're no longer around he'll start missing you. This is when he'll need to make a choice: take you back in a committed relationship or risk losing you as both a friend and a girlfriend. Until you're gone, he doesn't have to make this choice. By going away, you're forcing his hand. From that point, there are several moves you can make to get your ex to come calling for you.
If your ex still has love for you, he's going to come back to you as soon as he senses you might be getting over the relationship. The quicker your vanishing act, the faster he'll come looking for you, too - especially if he was the one who suggested being friends in the first place. This is actually a good sign, because it means your ex was never fully over your relationship to begin with.
The Top-Rated Resources For Fixing Your Break Up
The good news is that if your ex asked to be friends, he probably still loves you on some level. Most guys who break up with a girl don't make much of an effort to stay in touch, so you've already got something going in your favor.
Now if you're striving to get back together with your boyfriend, there's even better news: more help is available. The resources listed below are geared specifically toward drawing out the emotions your boyfriend may be trying hard to surpress right now. While he's trying to keep you around is the easiest time to convince him to reverse the break up. Check out the following guides - each is instantly downloadable, and you can get started in minutes.
The Magic of Making Up by T.W. Jackson
Nothing's more popular than this amazing guide to fixing relationships!
Thousands of women have used this guide to reverse an unwanted breakup.
Women Men Adore - Get inside your man's head and learn how to influence his decisions! This no-nonsense guide doesn't use tricks or mind control, but instead gives insight into how you can use a man's deeply buried emotions to make him want you again.
Bob Grant is also the author of the following best-seller:
How To Get Your Man Back! by Bob Grant
Any break up... any situation! It doesn't matter how things ended, this resource concentrates on executing some very specific and unique techniques a woman can use that will always get your ex back.